MY TWO CENTS..............

AT WHAT POINT ARE WE ALLOWED TO SAY WHAT THE HELL

A lot of people might not like the line of my thought in this article,especially those who Cluelessly and foolishly follow their pastors like lambs to the slaughter, and to be honest,I really don't give a rats ass. I might not be a regular church goer like a lot of people,which always gets me into trouble with my boyfriend and mum, but I'm not unaware of all the shenanigans of our honourable pastors. On so many occasions,I have gotten involved in arguments with people concerning the questionable personalities of our pastors, especially the celebrity pastors,whatever that means. And on all of those occasions, I have been shut down because apparently,I am not allowed to cast aspersion on the anointed, even though they deserve it. Something happened recently that strengthened my resolve to stop shutting up about this issue. Enough is enough.

I was going through some articles on a blog I usually visit and I came across an article that shocked the living day light out of me. An article about Ese Walter's affair with pastor Abiodun Fatoyinbo of COZA. I couldn't believe what I was seeing on so many levels. Firstly because she is a friend of mine, secondly, I have a lot of friends who attend that church, and thirdly because pastor Fatoyinbo's wife is someone I greatly admire and respect. After the shock of the article wore off, I read it and became more and more confused and conflicted by the content of the article. That Ese Walter Rugbere was involved with the 'almighty' pastor Abiodun is the shock of the century. After reading the article,I quickly called my mum to ask if she had seen it and she confirmed that she had. And just like every other person who had read it, she was quick to blame Ese for her involvement with him and to wonder why she had to put her family through the humiliation of that exposure.

A lot of people might want to blame her and even go as far as saying she seduced him, but please, before you do, take a minute and think about who should be judged here. Her or the pastor who has a wife a family a congregation and a whole lot of people looking up to him. I'm not absolving her of any blame, she shares in it, but the greater blame goes to the pastor. That a pastor would unwittingly lure a female member into a sizzling romance with him is a sin that even God shouldn't forgive. A sin that should not be taken lightly. How a pastor can throw caution, good jugement and morals to the wind and be entangled in such a shameful act is something that would be totally beyond my comprehension.

We are all responsible for the level at which our pastors have deteriorated to. A lot of craziness go on in our respective churches and we all keep quiet about it because we are scared shitless of 'touching the anointed of God' we allow a lot to be swept under the carpet because we fear not to be accused of judging them pastors. That is where we get it confused. Just because a person is a pastor with 'greater grace' doesn't stop us from calling them out on their transgression. Just because they have 'greater anointing' doesn't excuse our refusal to hold them accountable for their sins. These pastors operate in reckless abandon and then have the audacity to proceed to the pulpit to condemn the very sin they so clearly indulge in..I can never understand how these supposed anointed men commit sins that shame even sinners.

How is it even possible for us to openly condemn sinners with little or no anointing and refuse to throw stones at defaulting men of God? Isn't that double standard on our part? How can we continue to encourage these pastors who have deviated from the path of righteousness,and have created their own convenient path that they are shamelessly gliding through. These pastors do not care about the congregation they mislead with false pretenses of their holiness. They do not care that there are loads and loads of people who look up to them for spiritual guidance. No, they don't care. So why should we care not to tidy all their fuck ups, excuse my language.

A lot of people would be saying Tega shut up what do u know. I might not know anything, but I know that a mere human being like me without nearly a quater of the grace and anointing as these revered pastors, would think twice before committing some 'small small sins' how much more them. Please let's call a spade a spade and stop allowing ourselves to be deceived. There are just some sins that these pastors are guilty of that we shouldn't shut up about because God will punish us if we do. We are all mere mortals and we are not beyond sin, but there are just some sins we shouldn't be caught dead committing, like a pastor being sexually involved with a female parishoner. That is totally unacceptable.

I couldn't stop laughing when my mum said I have gotten yet another reason not to go to church. Funny enough,I'm a spiritual person, I'm just tired of all the bullshit of these pastors that is why I am not a regular visitor in the church. I keep seeing and hearing things our pastors do that would shock the wings off of angels. We all see and hear but we choose to keep quiet. We refuse to realize that the more we allow these men of God to get away with all their 'badness' the badder they become. Shame on all of us for being accessories in their sin and I really hope God forgives us for our cluelesness.

Ese Walter, I salute your courage to expose this monster using the pulpit as a means to perpetuate his evil. It must have taken you borrowed will power to step forward with this information knowing fully well that you would be putting yourself in the cross fire. you did it all the same irrespective of the criticism, hate, and disrespect you would get. I can only pray that God would help you through this confusing time. I know you and I know what you must be going through. But my prayers are with you. Prayer that you forgive yourself and God's forgiveness for not having the strength in character not to be tempted into an affair with a married man of God. I salute your resolve once again my friend. In time, this whole thing would blow over

NB: I feel sorry for anybody who still goes to that church and act like nothing happened. Pator Abiodun Fatoyinbo should be held responsible for his sins. And before you think she made everything up just to malign the name of the pastor, ask yourself what she had to gain by doing so. There is no smoke without fire. It is high time we said what the hell..

EVERYTHING GOOD WILL COME.......

I sat in the bus, stuck in the usual lagos traffic wondering what time i'll get home, seeing it was almost mid night and the roads just wont clear. Aarrrrghhhh! words cant begin to express how frustrated i am at this point, knowing fully well that my day will once again begin at 4 am the next morning. I cried silently, wondering when and how things will get any better and if my life could be any worse than it is. This is certainly not the kind of life i looked forward to when i came back to naija. i had great plans of being successful in a very short time.

I had dreams man! Dreams of becoming a successful fashion guru. i constantly reminded myself that my country has a lot to offer in terms of achieving my dreams, people here relate more with cloth making than in the western world where its only the gbo gbo bigs boys and girls who go to very big designers to make them those pieces they wear to their events. Naija on the other hand, has a very lucrative market as there is always an aso-ebi event to attend. I wasn't thinking mega bucks for starters but i knew i had to start from somewhere. I had to fire my self up from the inside because no one else can possibly believe in me more than me.


Reality begins to set in as my plans seem to be going the opposite direction. I become so downcast that i soon begin to feel like the world's biggest looser. I shy away from social events and my friends all in a bid to avoid those questions that seemed to put the world on my shoulders. I feel like a worthless piece of trash, an under achiever, a failure, one who God didn't like. People often said i was sharp but i wondered why it wasn't taking me to the banks grinning from ear to ear? My love life wasn't left out. I became emotionally needy as though i was seeking approval from my partner. kai!


God must have looked at me and shook his head saying this him pikin no dey try. If only she knows how precious she is to me, she will be happy all the time, if only she knows the plans i have for her. I cried over every little thing until i totally gave up on everything. I lived each day as it came, i didn't care anymore.

By a stroke of fate, i stumbled on a program titled THE LAW OF ATTRACTION. I discovered how the power of the mind attracts the very experiences we have in our lives. It changed me completely and i began to view life differently and before long, i began to attract the very things i wished for. I have a job now ;-) It may not be exactly what i want but i know it is taking me somewhere. When i wasn't even looking, i met and fell in love with the nicest guy i ever came across. Every day i spend with him, i feel as though i only just met him. i look at him and i know there is a God somewhere.

Without wanting to sound to spiritual (not that i'm ashamed of my faith) I want to encourage someone reading this. Please don't loose faith in the one who said he is coming back soon. Everyone has a definition of what success means to them. For some, it is owning great riches to others it might be something else. For me, success is knowing that i have all the happiness and health i need and knowing that i can be a solution to someone's problem. When did Karina become a preacher? lolz! Our race in life might not be the same, but ultimately, we will all answer the spiritual call from our creator.

Smile! your life has only just began and it can only get better! EVERYTHING GOOD WILL SURELY COME.......

PROUDLY FEMALE!

Celebrating great women

I'm dedicating today's piece to all the great women in my life. Women who have touched my life immensely and who with their outstanding qualities have proved to me over and over again that angels indeed live amongst us. In their individually unique way they have impacted greatly in the quality of my life, and I will be eternally grateful to my stars for making my path and these amazons inter line. They are my role models, my anchor, my source of strength and my inspiration.

My mum was the very first person I laid eyes on when I made my grand entrance into this world. She is the one and only constant thing in my life. She has watched over me, protected me, cried and grieved with me. She has gone through thick and thin to make sure I become who I am today. She has supported me in every area and aspect of my life. She has steadfastly motivated me and pushed me to the point of breaking, to the woman I am today. However great I am, I am because of her. She is the reason I aim as high as I do, and I attribute all the great points of my life to her. Any body who knows my mum know she is as stubborn and naughty as a human being can be, and I know I inherited that trait from her. As a result of our individual stubbornness, we have had relationship-breaking issues, and we learned and grew from those fits. In spite of our drama, we love and respect ourselves, and we always, always find a common ground. When I was growing up, I had too many negative attention from boys, and she did every thing within and outside her means to make sure I didn't get influenced by it. She thought me how to be kind, to be compassionate, to be respectful and most of all, that I deserve every good thing in life. My mother is my hero. She is the one woman that I will forever be thankful to for every thing in my life. And even though she thrashed me like hell while growing up, I still love her to pieces.

Mrs Lucy Adewuyi is a woman like no other woman. I stand continuously in awe of her. I look at her and I see what I want to become when I reach my pinnacle. When people complain that their bosses are direct descendants of the devil, mine shares a blood line with angels. Every day I wake up, I do a special dance for making me be among her working staff. The minute I met her, I knew she was different. She is an unusual boss,a remarkable woman and a compassionate human being. The kind of boss you can walk up to and discuss everything without her chiding you. People walk on egg shells around their bosses, but not her. She isn't just my boss, she is my mother. She is a great and influential woman but she never goes about throwing her power around. Her humility is astounding and her high supply of respect for people is astonishing. They say working with women is difficult, I wish. Working for her has been nothing short of a blessing. My boss is one of the last good people remaining in this world. Every day she surprises me and I wonder how one person can be so cool. Yes, cool. My boss is a woman with glowing attributes and impeccable attitude. She is absolutely wonderful, and I am lucky to have her in my life.

My soon to be mother-in-law is a woman I respect greatly because of her success in making my man the person he is today. Through her hard work, dedication, and consistency, he is who he is today . All his good points he owes to her. The remarkable person he is today is as a result of her relentless effort in ensuring that happen. Indirectly she has impacted in my life by making him the loving, caring and giving person he is. I have no doubt in my mind that she is going to make one hell of mother to me.

Mrs Oshinowo is a woman I won't forget in a hurry. She helped in molding me into the Tega I am today. I remember the day we had the 'talk' that changed me. I was really so into myself. So in love with myself because of all the attention I got from guys. I walked on air and I lived up to my nick name, Queen Elizabeth. I was a snobbish brat who thought the sun rose and set on her ass. I didn't care one bit that my family and every other person thought I was too arrogant and full of myself. I was living in the glory of all the attention I got and I couldn't be bothered. That was until this woman, this wonderful woman, took out time to direct my attention to the negative direction my life was going. She opened my eyes to the error of my ways and created in me the awareness of how far humility can take a person. She taught me how I can have the world eating out of my palms just by being humble. She made me realize I didn't have to put people down to be up there. That I can only be a bigger person if I'm able to treat the smallest person I meet with respect and regard. She changed my life that woman, and I will be forever indebted to her

These women are the movers and shakers in my life and I will gladly and without question walk off a cliff for them. I'm blessed to have them in my life and I live every day with the fear of not letting them down.

NB: there are so many remarkable women in my life, and just because I didn't mention them doesn't mean I don't celebrate them. I appreciate their presence in my life and I'm one lucky girl for having all their influences in my life.

Tega says....

Tega's journal
My inner fear

With every new day,I learn new things about myself. Things that frighten me,enlighten me,baffle me and most importantly awake a consciousness within me that I really have no clue about who I really am. In as much as I do not argue the fact that I have a complex personality, sometimes, I try to believe that I am as open as a book..While I wouldn't dispute the truth that sometimes I get a bit hyper emotional and cranky and really weird,I assess myself and fear greatly that I might not exactly be accomplishing and exploring the true potential of my personality.

I look at myself and I wonder that I might not be walking towards who I should really be..My wonder always,always leads to this fear,this paralyzing fear within me .I tell myself that I need to step away from myself so I can look unto myself to see if I am being the Tega I ought to be. To see if I am turning out to be the woman I so totally hoped I would be..The thought that I might not be getting it,that I might be heading towards the opposite direction of where my potential lies scares me to death..It is that fear of derailing that cripples me, that stops me from aiming as high as I should. That fear keeps me stagnated and rooted in my comfort zone.

Am I leading a life worthy of me?Am a turning out to be a reflection of the true and strong woman I so desire to be, or I'm a dandelion floating in an ocean relying on the wave to lead the pace? Is the rein of my life in my hands or in the hands of people,leading me to where they think I ought to be? Is Tega in control of Tega's life or is she reliant on other people's strength to navigate through life? Am I really who I should be or is my life a constant pursuit for the approval of people?

I was born to this world to make a difference,to effect a change,to carve a niche and to make an impression. I was born to make mistakes, but am I making too many mistakes? I was made to get angry when I am crossed,to cry when I am hurt,to love,to hate,to encourage,to sympathize,to be strong,to be afraid and most importantly,to Live..But am I living? I was born with a high supply of common sense but am I applying it to my advantage or am I denying myself the opportunity to be who I am meant to be?. Am I making too many bad decisions and poor calls?Am I forming alliance with the wrong crowd? Am I telling myself the truth of who I really am and where I'm headed? Am I living a lie?

I am a girl with a lot of fears, but do I have what it takes to eradicate that fear?I fear that I might not be adequate enough. I fear I might not be a good enough person. I fear the honesty of who the real me is if I'm not acting to please or impress people. I fear that I might not be an excellent lover,daughter,sister, and friend. I fear about my relationship with my boyfriend, and my relationship with the world. I wake up every morning with a renewed hope to be a better person, a better lover,a better sister,a better daughter,a better friend and a better citizen . But it seems like I'm holding myself back because I fear to be judged.

I don't want to live my life to please people. I don't want my personality to change depending on who I'm with or the environment I am in. I want to live an authentic life,not a life seeking for approval. To be able to express myself without fear or favor. To stand for the truth even if I'm standing alone. Not to be patronizing or a sycophants, Not to sing the praises of people just for the hell of it. I want to be Tega at all times. I want to be me even if it annoys or impresses,even if it irritates or amazes. I want to be true to myself. I owe nobody that except myself.

I do not want to go through life with the responsibility of pleasing people on my shoulder, It is too great a responsibility. A responsibility that weighs me down so much that i become strengthless to be my own person. It is that burden not to be judged that limits me. I'm not unaware that as human beings we are programmed to seek the approval of people, but am I allowing my life to be centered around it, am I living off it. Am I being true to myself even if it doesn't meet the approval of anybody. I fear that I dress,talk,walk,act in a way that doesn't depict who I am as a person just because of my phobia of disapproval.

I fear that at one point in my life I might have taken the wrong turn,and now I'm headed away from the grand design for my life..I may not yet have a clear picture of how my world is supposed to be, but I fear that I might leave the world without putting my mark on it. I fear that I would leave the world without changing a life. I fear that I might not be able to attain and achieve the essence of my existence before I am smitten into dust. I fear greatly that I might leave this world and I wouldn't be remembered.

A TOAST TO FRIENDSHIP!!!

The English dictionary defines friendship in a certain way but I think it doesn't capture the true essence of it so I decided to come up with mine. To me, a friend is someone who knows how messed up your life is and still chooses to be a part of it. You can't put a price on that now or can you? We are not at liberty to choose family but friends, we damn right have a choice and that's why when someone you thought was your friend, suddenly begins to act like a douche-bag, you simply put up with it or you send them parking from your picture perfect life, shinkena!

I'm one of those who have been fortunate enough to meet very wonderful people who find my craziness fascinating hmm that's if they are not so themselves oh! I'm the kind of girl who awakens a side of you, you never knew existed. In a positive way that is!

My darling Tina, was a proper girl until she met me and I made her know it's cool to scrape snow off the top of a clean surface and lick it the way we used to scrape the freezer and lick the ice flakes and call it ice cream (please forgive me for making your life a lot more fun) life is short people! Why make living life such a bore? I only had normal friends till I met this very special girl I want to talk about.
I went for church service that beautiful Sunday morning and as usual, I went to sit at the back with the boys. For anyone who knows a good choir, you know the sopranos are meant to sit in front. I'm not trying to sound conceited but I'm a bad arse singer! The type who will make you give your life to christ that is if you haven't but begin who I am, I don't sit with the rest of the girls because I hate the feeling of sounding like a canary doing back up singing for the dream girls. My choir director must have had enough of my ways and he asked me to either do the back up or leave the choir stand. I chose option b of course! I angrily went to sit with the congregation at the back of the church and just then, pastor said for us to shake the person sitting next to us saying something I don't remember. That was when I had the opportunity of meeting this girl.

My second encounter with her was on Valentines day. We had choir practice and we also had a party organised by the church. We had finished rehearsal and it was audition time for new members and that was when I first heard her sing. Her voice was like nothing I had ever heard. She was singing "Just to be close to you is my desire " the hair on the back of my neck stood gosh! She sounded like an oyinbo cd and from that moment on, I knew I wanted to be friends with this geh. I walked up to her and said something really funny and we have been friends ever since.

We all have different purposes for our lives and as such we might not have as much time as we want, to be with people we love. We grow up, get jobs, get married and have kids and somehow, we forget the very people who have been there for us from the beginning. I wanna use this medium to celebrate my friends and tell you how much value your friendship has added to my life. I may not get to see you as often as I want, I may not get to call you ever so often as I ought to but I love you all the same.

Happy birthday my darling Onome, here's wishing you good health, love and plenty pikin lol! Visit here blog here mypocketfull.wordpress.com never a dull moment there. Happy friendship day people!
Shout out to Katie and Meme

TEGA SAYS.......

Tega's Journal

Being in a relationship is a really tricky thing. One minute you have all the answers, and the next, you are as clueless as a kid on his first day in a new school. Boys and girls are so different, it's a wonder how they end up being together. As a girl, my perception, belief, ideals, goals and interests are poles apart from my boyfriend's. The way he views life is totally the opposite of how I see the world. He sees the world in black and white, I see it in pink, grey and blue. But in spite of our different outlook at life, we still manage to be in love.

As a girl, what we want from our relationship sometimes conflicts with what boys want from theirs. Us girls are programmed to want more than a casual relationship. We always tend to put the cart before the horse. The very instant a guy asks us out, we already start to picture in our heads the future with him. We are sitting down on our first date with him, but rather than enjoy his company, we are creating a mental picture of how many kids we would have together, what exact location our dream home would be built and if he would be bald and totally grey at age fifty five. We want more too quickly, and it rubs us of the ability to really enjoy our relationship with him.

A guy asks a girl out and he just wants to have a good time, not marry her. He wants to be able to enjoy her company and have fun. We don't see it that way. So,rather than be an interesting date, we switch off our attractive button because all our mental faculty is in full gear plotting ways of how to keep this guy around long enough to force a proposal out of him. It is really funny how we box ourselves in a corner because we are cut in this chase as girls on who will finish first. We forget that one of the things men find most unattractive and unsexy in us is desperation. When a guy senses you are desperate to tie him down in marriage, he runs away, and if he doesn't run away, he remains in the relationship and allow you make a fool of yourself, until he is tired of watching your freak show.

I read a book by sherry Argov on why men marry bitches, and it opened my eyes to a lot of things. I dare to say it has totally changed my perception on boys and marriage. Girls are so much in a hurry and guys take advantage of us because of it. We lose our power in a relationship the very minute a guy knows we are desperate. We hand him all our cards and we have nothing to hold him up to. We turn ourselves into what we are not with the hope that he would like what he sees and get a flashing from heaven that this 'new you' is what he wants to spend the rest of his life with. So, rather than be the boss in our relationship, we end up being the slave. Constantly trying to please him, and letting him use us as his foot mat.

There are over a billion single people in the world. Why try to please one. Why lose your identity just to get and keep the attention of one?? I'm going to contradict myself here and say that I do not blame some girls when they play all their cards to get a proposal out of a guy. When you meet a guy and agree to date him, it isn't because he is the finest, richest, funniest guy around. No. You date him because you have found something in him that does it for you. You have found the magic in him that puts the tingle in you. So, you fight to solidify and permanent it. You struggle to make that feeling legal. At this point, you have to be smart. You have to throw him that rope subtly, so u don't entangle him with it. Throw the rope at him and allow him catch it and use it to gain balance, not trip from it. Make him know that while you love him to bits and would love nothing more than to be his wife, you are not going to degrade yourself in the process.

All we have to do as girls is to be the best in our relationship. Be as fun, as naughty, as interesting, as stubborn, as loving, and as caring as you can be, and if the boy is sensible enough, the only thing that would delay him from popping the question, is coming up with a creative and most romantic way to ask you to give him the pleasure of being his wife. We shouldn't be the ones doing the stressing and wondering and thinking and plotting. It's the guy's duty to live with the wonder of if you will agree to be is wife when he proposes. We shouldn't tip the balance of the universe. We shouldn't play the guy's role.

I'm very well aware that sometimes, we get tempted to want to slap some sense into him, and scream at the top of our voices if he can't see how fucking awesome we are and why he won't just go down on his freaking knees and propose. We do this because of love. We do this because we have found that thing in him that satisfies us. For different girls it's different things. For me, it's how he holds my hand, how he tries to protect me from the world even from myself,how he takes care of me, how he is compassionate towards people, how he always tips the waiter and security men, how he stops to tip a traffic warden. It is how I am myself when I'm with him, how I hate him sometimes and love him like crazy at the same time. I have found in him what makes me myself, and I would be damned if I let that slip out of my hands.

Anyway, that's all I have to say.. Have fun guys..I'm off.. *shaking my head to the beats of Adele's Set fire to the rain*

Chikito's day out....

It was a beautiful day, it started like every other day, I woke up a bit late and I had to hurry so I don't get to work late, to avoid my oga's wahala. She didn't like me much and I didn't want to give her room to talk trash to me. I had no time to make up or feel pretty as i was already running late.

I got to work in good time and was told Countess Dracula had to travel to abuja because she was summoned by our oga at the top. I happy die! I can bet that my colleagues were happy about it too. Jeezs! That woman can nag for Africa! I'm pretty sure she had man issues because she is so darn ugly and by ugly, I don't mean facial she is extremely feminist and bitter she wears it like makeup. The only men she employs are menial staff . As soon as it was 2 o clock, a colleague of mine and I decided to run away from work (by the way, she is my partner in crime) I gave a flimsy excuse but my plan was to go and see my friend Katie who just had a baby. I hadn't really had the time to see her because of how late I close everyday so leaving work at 2 felt like prison break walahi!

Anita my colleague has a penchant for flagging down cars. She too like free ride kai! The first time I went out with her, I was a bit uncomfortable because of stories I had heard in the past, ritual killings, kidnap and all, but she'll say "Girlie bone na lekki we dey nothing dey happen" so my liver had undergone several Stages of cooking and believe me, it still wasn't done.

It was quite sunny and we didn't have much money on us so she decided to do her thing. Me as learner, I just dey follow her for back like twitter. We crossed over to the other side of the road and it wasn't long before we were able to catch a free ride and we hopped in and in our most courteous voices, we greeted him and told him our destination. We kept saying thank you God bless you and this cow of a man was just answering and saying thank God.

We were whispering and gossiping in hushed tones. We talked about how dirty the inside of the guy's car was bla bla bla and we almost forgot our bus stop and we told our darling man that we wanted to get off as we had reached our destination. I used my sexiest voice tell this man thank you oh! As I wan come down, he said in a very pasuma Barry White voice, "Your money is 3000 naira" chineke! My voice seize! Tell me my boss doesn't have any hand in this!