THINKING ALOUD (LIFE OF AN ABUJA GIRL)

Why do people get married??That is a question that has been begging for an answer for as long as I can remember..I often ask myself why a guy or a girl decides at a particular point to give up his/her freedom and shack up with another human being for the rest of their natural lives..I look at some married people and I fail to see any kind of fulfillment in them. I look at some married people and sometimes I see this despair and struggle,this unhappiness and frustration, and I wonder,why in the name of God did this person get married?

Back here in Nigeria,people get married for so many reasons,and 95 percent of these reasons are wrong. An average Nigerian guy doesn't exactly get married because he has seen a girl that will walk off a cliff with him in times of difficulties, just like an average Nigerian girl doesn't say yes I do to a guy she believes without any doubt in her mind would love her till he takes his last breath. A Nigerian guy gets married when he is ready and the lady that happens to be by his side at that point in time,ends up being the 'lucky' lady. It doesn't matter if he is crazily in love with her or not,so long as she is a good care giver,looks like she can give birth to healthy children and can take care of the home front, then she is 'the one'.On the day of their wedding you see them looking like two strangers about to embark on an unsure journey.

Nigerians don't really understand that getting married isn't a competition. It isn't  something you get asked or pressured into doing. Marriage is not  something you show off to your friends and say yes,I can do it too. We confuse the real essence of bliss When we do not understand the definition of marriage. As long as we continue to live in ignorance as to the importance of the definition,marital bliss will continue to elude lots of couples. Most Nigerians don't get married and find happiness. They don't exactly find fulfillment in their partners. As a matter of fact,some couples can't stand themselves. Then I wonder again, why did they get married.

A Nigerian girl is just a victim most times in the aspect of marriage. She is the one that bears the brunt. She is the one that faces the most pressure because far be it from her not to bring home a husband when she has reached the marrying age. So,u wouldn't really blame her when she settles for a guy she doesn't really love or loves her back. So long as the guy is comfortable and can provide for her needs, she agrees to be his 'partner' for the rest of her life. But then again,When you look at it,you can't help not blaming some girls. Times have changed and our thinking as girls should change too. Because a guy is financially up to date and he asks you to marry him,you agree knowing very well that you will b miserable all the rest of your life. You have refused to see that in Africa,once you get married by mistake,you don't have the option or luxury of correcting that mistake by leaving,no way. You are stuck in that marriage forever. If u are brave enough to walk away,the stigma remains with you forever. You ultimately will have to live with the blame of a broken marriage for the rest of your life. You have to remain unhappy in that marriage forever while your husband on the other hand has an option of finding happiness outside the marriage. He can have an affair with someone he truly is in love with and thereby making you the loser.

I have refused to be an average Nigerian girl. I refuse to allow my mother's pressure,plea, and complaints to get to me. I refuse to allow my friends convince me of the folly of my resolve. I refuse to listen to all d boys lining up to make me their 'partner'. I refuse to marry for any other reason than to be happy for the rest of my life. I refuse to compromise. I don't intend to remain single for long cos I can see the stirring of the water already. I don't want to be a victim. I just want to end up the winner. I want to be able to look at my husband so many years into our marriage and say yes I made the right choice. I want to smile so much at my weeding that my chief bride's maid would have to keep telling me to stop smiling. I want to look into my husband's eyes as we are standing on the aisle and know without any doubt that he would take care of me for the rest of my life and love me forever. Well,maybe I'm just a girl with a big dream,but I tell you,I'm a girl with a strong resolve.

P:S someone please tell my mum to stop worrying. I'm not asking for too much.I'm just aking for the best #wink#

THINKING ALOUD (LIFE OF AN ABUJA GIRL)

Why do people get married??That is a question that has been begging for an answer for as long as I can remember..I often ask myself why a guy or a girl decides at a particular point to give up his/her freedom and shack up with another human being for the rest of their natural lives..I look at some married people and I fail to see any kind of fulfillment in them. I look at some married people and sometimes I see this despair and struggle,this unhappiness and frustration, and I wonder,why in the name of God did this person get married?

Back here in Nigeria,people get married for so many reasons,and 95 percent of these reasons are wrong. An average Nigerian guy doesn't exactly get married because he has seen a girl that will walk off a cliff with him in times of difficulties, just like an average Nigerian girl doesn't say yes I do to a guy she believes without any doubt in her mind would love her till he takes his last breath. A Nigerian guy gets married when he is ready and the lady that happens to be by his side at that point in time,ends up being the 'lucky' lady. It doesn't matter if he is crazily in love with her or not,so long as she is a good care giver,looks like she can give birth to healthy children and can take care of the home front, then she is 'the one'.On the day of their wedding you see them looking like two strangers about to embark on an unsure journey.

Nigerians don't really understand that getting married isn't a competition. It isn't  something you get asked or pressured into doing. Marriage is not  something you show off to your friends and say yes,I can do it too. We confuse the real essence of bliss When we do not understand the definition of marriage. As long as we continue to live in ignorance as to the importance of the definition,marital bliss will continue to elude lots of couples. Most Nigerians don't get married and find happiness. They don't exactly find fulfillment in their partners. As a matter of fact,some couples can't stand themselves. Then I wonder again, why did they get married.

A Nigerian girl is just a victim most times in the aspect of marriage. She is the one that bears the brunt. She is the one that faces the most pressure because far be it from her not to bring home a husband when she has reached the marrying age. So,u wouldn't really blame her when she settles for a guy she doesn't really love or loves her back. So long as the guy is comfortable and can provide for her needs, she agrees to be his 'partner' for the rest of her life. But then again,When you look at it,you can't help not blaming some girls. Times have changed and our thinking as girls should change too. Because a guy is financially up to date and he asks you to marry him,you agree knowing very well that you will b miserable all the rest of your life. You have refused to see that in Africa,once you get married by mistake,you don't have the option or luxury of correcting that mistake by leaving,no way. You are stuck in that marriage forever. If u are brave enough to walk away,the stigma remains with you forever. You ultimately will have to live with the blame of a broken marriage for the rest of your life. You have to remain unhappy in that marriage forever while your husband on the other hand has an option of finding happiness outside the marriage. He can have an affair with someone he truly is in love with and thereby making you the loser.

I have refused to be an average Nigerian girl. I refuse to allow my mother's pressure,plea, and complaints to get to me. I refuse to allow my friends convince me of the folly of my resolve. I refuse to listen to all d boys lining up to make me their 'partner'. I refuse to marry for any other reason than to be happy for the rest of my life. I refuse to compromise. I don't intend to remain single for long cos I can see the stirring of the water already. I don't want to be a victim. I just want to end up the winner. I want to be able to look at my husband so many years into our marriage and say yes I made the right choice. I want to smile so much at my weeding that my chief bride's maid would have to keep telling me to stop smiling. I want to look into my husband's eyes as we are standing on the aisle and know without any doubt that he would take care of me for the rest of my life and love me forever. Well,maybe I'm just a girl with a big dream,but I tell you,I'm a girl with a strong resolve.

P:S someone please tell my mum to stop worrying. I'm not asking for too much.I'm just aking for the best #wink#

THINKING ALOUD (LIFE OF AN ABUJA GIRL)

Why do people get married??That is a question that has been begging for an answer for as long as I can remember..I often ask myself why a guy or a girl decides at a particular point to give up his/her freedom and shack up with another human being for the rest of their natural lives..I look at some married people and I fail to see any kind of fulfillment in them. I look at some married people and sometimes I see this despair and struggle,this unhappiness and frustration, and I wonder,why in the name of God did this person get married?

Back here in Nigeria,people get married for so many reasons,and 95 percent of these reasons are wrong. An average Nigerian guy doesn't exactly get married because he has seen a girl that will walk off a cliff with him in times of difficulties, just like an average Nigerian girl doesn't say yes I do to a guy she believes without any doubt in her mind would love her till he takes his last breath. A Nigerian guy gets married when he is ready and the lady that happens to be by his side at that point in time,ends up being the 'lucky' lady. It doesn't matter if he is crazily in love with her or not,so long as she is a good care giver,looks like she can give birth to healthy children and can take care of the home front, then she is 'the one'.On the day of their wedding you see them looking like two strangers about to embark on an unsure journey.

Nigerians don't really understand that getting married isn't a competition. It isn't  something you get asked or pressured into doing. Marriage is not  something you show off to your friends and say yes,I can do it too. We confuse the real essence of bliss When we do not understand the definition of marriage. As long as we continue to live in ignorance as to the importance of the definition,marital bliss will continue to elude lots of couples. Most Nigerians don't get married and find happiness. They don't exactly find fulfillment in their partners. As a matter of fact,some couples can't stand themselves. Then I wonder again, why did they get married.

A Nigerian girl is just a victim most times in the aspect of marriage. She is the one that bears the brunt. She is the one that faces the most pressure because far be it from her not to bring home a husband when she has reached the marrying age. So,u wouldn't really blame her when she settles for a guy she doesn't really love or loves her back. So long as the guy is comfortable and can provide for her needs, she agrees to be his 'partner' for the rest of her life. But then again,When you look at it,you can't help not blaming some girls. Times have changed and our thinking as girls should change too. Because a guy is financially up to date and he asks you to marry him,you agree knowing very well that you will b miserable all the rest of your life. You have refused to see that in Africa,once you get married by mistake,you don't have the option or luxury of correcting that mistake by leaving,no way. You are stuck in that marriage forever. If u are brave enough to walk away,the stigma remains with you forever. You ultimately will have to live with the blame of a broken marriage for the rest of your life. You have to remain unhappy in that marriage forever while your husband on the other hand has an option of finding happiness outside the marriage. He can have an affair with someone he truly is in love with and thereby making you the loser.

I have refused to be an average Nigerian girl. I refuse to allow my mother's pressure,plea, and complaints to get to me. I refuse to allow my friends convince me of the folly of my resolve. I refuse to listen to all d boys lining up to make me their 'partner'. I refuse to marry for any other reason than to be happy for the rest of my life. I refuse to compromise. I don't intend to remain single for long cos I can see the stirring of the water already. I don't want to be a victim. I just want to end up the winner. I want to be able to look at my husband so many years into our marriage and say yes I made the right choice. I want to smile so much at my weeding that my chief bride's maid would have to keep telling me to stop smiling. I want to look into my husband's eyes as we are standing on the aisle and know without any doubt that he would take care of me for the rest of my life and love me forever. Well,maybe I'm just a girl with a big dream,but I tell you,I'm a girl with a strong resolve.

P:S someone please tell my mum to stop worrying. I'm not asking for too much.I'm just aking for the best #wink#

WENT INTO THE BUSH A BUTTERFLY AND CAME OUT A BAT..

Happy new month people! Welcome to February, the month of love. Sad thing i could not blog last saturday, no thanks to my poor internet service. This month brings special thoughts to my mind especially because on one hand, i think val's day is over rated and on the other hand, who doesnt like the feeling of being in love?

I want to take advantage of this very lovie-dovie month to blog about matters of the heart, touching both the good the bad and the not so pretty as i like to call it #wink.

Zoe. Loves her boyfriend so much so that in her eyes, he could do no wrong. She has a job that pays her much more than his but she did not flinch. She accords him the respect he deserves, she is beautiful, classy humble and all the things that a man could possibly want in a woman. Zoe supports her man's budding food stuff business because she believes in him and feels she is doing the right thing and securing her tomorrow.

Tade and Zoe were class mates and as such, he feels she is way too smart for him. She is generous and generally sweet, he fears he will not be able to fully control her so his mission, is to suck as much as possible from her financially until he is able to get a younger girl who will see and treat him like he is God's gift to women.

You must by now have guessed the outcome of this story. Zoe is left broken, she detests men and says to herself that they are all the same. She carries this baggage into her next relationship and blows it up before the innocent man has the chance to prove his love to her. Tade on the other hand, hmm (shrug) what can i say? I know God is watching him on 3D and i await the news of his downfall. Call me wicked! RME# he started it duh!

Dear ladies, in your quest for true love, be mindful and vigilant. God almighty gave us the ability to know a man's intentions from the very first word that comes out of his mouth. Most of the time, we know the truth but we choose to hang in there because to us, its better than no man at all. Please do not misunderstand me, i have not said it is bad to support your man, all i am saying is you should be able to tell a vampire boyfriend when you see one. don't be in a hurry to give him your neck so he can suck your blood just to prove you are a nice girl. If you feel the need to be charitable, please by all means, LOOK FOR AN ORPHANAGE!!!

I am not innocent of this, as i have had my own fair share of vampire relationships. I even did a "love trek" or walk of shame as i now call it, to a long distance, just to pay in my last cash into my boyfriend's account, just so he could have lunch. How stupid!

Women are equally not left out of this life style but it is the men i choose to start with. No prejudice brothers, as a matter of fact, i love men:-) after all, i wont marry a woman abi? If you see a godly man who sincerely loves you, by all means support each other because iron they say, sharpeneth iron. When you see am you go know.

On a final note, please look out for his teeth when he tries to kiss your neck with stories like," i'm tied up somewhere please send me recharge card" "i didn't come out with my wallet please pay for the meal, ill pay you back later" "please may i borrow your car? Blah blah blah! Fry that bat before it bites you period!