IT's A WRAP GUYS! ( HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!)

She woke us all up with her continous movements in and around the house, in the early hours of the morning. I had looked forward to that day and i had plans for my self. It was my birthday no doubt, but i had no plans of waking up from my beauty sleep so early in the morning as a result of some rubbish noise nwuye was making. Eventually, i had to get out bed because tried as i could, i just could not keep my eyes closed with all her gra gra(i felt like punching her in the face).

Nwunye woke up as early as 3am, put on her favourite spaghetti strap and leggings she bought at her favourite okriks boutique at tej market her excuse being, pregnancy had no permanent dress. She had on a pair of big earings, big enough for a canary to play jangilover in.her ibo lo shey (ibo made said in yoruba but pronounced in italian) designer sandals were cleaned in a hurry and as such, still had traces of dust here and there. I scanned her with a frown on my face before asking her where she was headed and if the witches convention started so early in the year that she had to wake us all up.

"Abeg leave me" she said. Where you dey go na wey u no go let us hear word and by the way, you no even wish me happy birthday sef. Na so them send you?(Rme). Oh i almost forgot and im sorry she said, with a hug to show her genuine repentance. That still does not answer my question madam! I want to quickly get to my doctor's at ikoyi, i think my baby is in distress she said. With eyes wide open, i wondered what she was talking about and i quickly had to call mum. Hmm distress kwa no be only! I think you are in labour. It wasn't long before i discovered that arguing with Nwunye was a bloody waste of my precious time not after her display of madness a few days before. I saw a side of her she so carefully concealed until she said "i do"

I made up my mind, not to argue with her, but to accompany her to the bus_stop and just play "yes boss" to my madam" all i had on was a sheer short red night gown and a wrapper on my waist and mum wore an old boubou she bought at ivory coast. We had not stood for ten minutes before our madam Nwunye experienced her first cramp. Nwunye had began seeing double and before we knew it, she was bending on the streets to pee. My leggings wearing madam wants to piss on the road. Wonderful! Mum made me give her my wrapper and made me carry this 20ton woman to the nearest clinic, leaving me and my short dress at the mercy of the early morning harmatan cold.

It was not a very long walk as we got to the clinic in good time for her to pee. Lo and behold, a bloody show. She was admitted immediately and in less than two hours, i watched for the first time in my life, a woman give life to another soul. My nephew, the best birthday gift anyone could ever ask for. I filmed it all. His grand entrance, his first cry, his first poop, bath etc. I couldn't be happier. I ran from the clinic to the house, no fewer than a hundred times if i am not exaggerating. I was so excited and confused at the same time. For once, i forgot all about Nwunye's madness and just embraced the beauty of reproduction. My first God son. He was so little and fragile looking yet beautiful. Behold! Subsideen(lol)

This year has been a very eventful year for me. I loved, lied, cried, kissed a couple of frogs, hammered*winks dont ask me how or if i am speaking the truth about hammering oh! With all i have been through this year,i will say that nothing tops my gmy experience of witnessing the birth of my birthday gift. Mind sharing your best experience of the year on this space? Please feel free to tell us all.

Lest i forget, i met a couple of wonderful people too and i am thankful to God almighty for bringing them my way. For those i may have offended, i apologise and those who offended me, i forgive you too. To my haters, see you all on the other side of 2013 and i wish you all loose your front teeth so when you smile, folks know y'all are evil(lol) just teasing.

Here is wishing us all a blissful 2013 filled with wonderful endings and fulfilled dreams. Kisses****
Ps I like Charles' baby and Kathy's baby too.

LIFE OF AN ABUJA GIRL....

I am the first person to admit i'm not as much of a christian as i ought to be. I chide myself for not living up to standard and walking in line with God's divine design for my life. I struggle to stay focused and most times,i loose the battle. But no matter how many times i fail,i have no intention of leaving the battle ground..No sir,no way..I have been equipped with all the gears i need to win this,and win i must.

So many times when i am faced with terrible afflictions,i pray to God and demand that he pays attention to my prayers,and when he doesn't(as far as i'm concerned) i alienate myself from him. That's the greatest sin of pride and so many of us are guilty of it. I forget that God doesn't work according to my calendar. He isn't an object I can clock on and expect to go off just when it suits me and at the slightest trace of a problem..I can't see wide enough or far enough to know or comprehend his grand plan for me because my faith is constantly waving and my trust forever shaking.

I know that God does not need my permission to break me into my destiny neither does he need any preparation for it to be executed. It Just takes suddenly for my lanes to be changed. I try so hard to make my love for God surpass my worry about trivial things like not being where i ought to be. I want to strive to the point where my love for God will be so great that all my energy will be spent towards keeping the flame alive that i won't have any more  left worrying my pretty little head about things God has already sorted out.

I might not be much of a church goer, but i have a great fellowship in my heart with God. I might not be a christian by title, but i am a christian by attitude. I might not be a preaching christian,but i am a reaching christian. I might not know too many verses in the bible, but i know word for word the rules about treating my fellow human beings like they are gods.(After all,what good is it being a christian if u don't love your neighbor more than yourself)

I'm a work in progress. A building under construction. And by the time the work on me is done, you all would be dazzled at the end result..Because as far as i'm concerned,i'm an architectural masterpiece..And masterpieces take time to be completed.
Tega..xoxo

Hello people, this post still isn't mine. Still on the visitor's column and i thought to share it.

Visitor's column

Hello friends, trust your week has been good. Mine has been pretty hectic and as such, I have been everywhere this week. Phew! The weekend is finally here when I can put my feet up, watch t.v and indulge in a few of my favorite things. Been talking to an old friend of mine on an issue we often neglect. She sent in this short piece and I hope you all enjoy it as I did. Bruno Mars' lazy song is playing in my head right now and believe me, today, I'm not gonna do nothing at all(tongue out). Don't even try to ask me if I brushed my teeth today(I do not intend kissing nobody duh!) #eyes rolling# enough about my boring life style already. Please enjoy.

All we talk about these days is survival..life is getting more difficult and more complicated by the second.We talk about how to handle our personal demons and how to keep our heads afloat without getting sucked in..Well,blah blah blah..Anywho,i'm not gonna talk about boring stuff like that,because i'm beyond certain we've heard enough of that,and personally,if i hear  any more talk about survival ishes,i'm gonna scream my lungs out

So,we gonna talk about Love..yes,you heard me right..we gonna talk about love baby(tongue out to all of you)Nobody gets to talk about love again and quite frankly,i am not surprised.Some people would rather make out with  broken bottles than be in love,talk about love or hear about love. Well,as for Tega,i am a sucker for the L word..gimme love any day and i'm ready to dive into it. Although,experience has thought me to test d water before diving in,there is nothing more satisfying than d feel of d cold water of love..lol. Call me stupid if u want,but i think love is the most gratifying experience.itz a spiritual connection between 2 people and it balances d sphere of the universe.

Love makes everything better whether you agree with me or not..Okay,am very well aware that love can be very very tricky. Love can be crazy when itz crazy,but when itz good,damn..itz really good. We've all been burnt by love at one point,or taken a serious punch from it that left us comatose. But is it enough reason to give up on it? Nahhhh..As long as there is blood in ur vein,there should be space for love in your heart

So,am i in love? Well,that's a question i would have to answer some other time..Tega and love,there's  a nice ring to it don't you think *wink*Thanks a million 4 having me here Miss Tackleberry..kisses..xoxo
Sent

WORK IN PROGRESS...

Happy new month folks!!! I know that by now, you all must have noticed the slight modification of this space. It was done with you in mind darlings :-) and i hope you like it. As we all know, change is the only constant thing in life and change for the better, i will.

My inactivity on this space was as a result of my many lovie lovie activities in the month of november and of course, i had to sit back for a bit to tweak certain things both in my life and on this space, just so i could capture the true essence of who i am and why i do the things i do. I like to see my self as "work in progress" i may not be where i dreamt oF being at the beginning of the year, but i certainly am not where i used to be. Alot has changed about me and i am not gonna form and deceive myself that it has been all fine and dandy but then, there is alot to be thankful for.

The fact that sometimes, what we planned is not exactly what we get, informed my decision to change the name and theme of my space as i like to call it (my blog). Can you imagine for a second the life of a painter and his brush?When he decides to paint a picture he/she has had in mind for a while, most of the time, inspired by nature or an event, he has certain colours and patterns in mind but just like every other thing in life, it sometimes does not come out the exact way he wants. Sometimes its for good and other times, it works negatively yet, it doesnt change the fact that it is a pieice of art and for those who appreciate such, it is beauty they see. I sometimes want to beleive that the painter of the world famous Monalisa portrait,did not think for a second that his work of art, would become a best seller but paint it, he did. What he tried to capture, no one can really say but then, the piece captivates all.

Our very being can also be likened to the painter and his brush. God is the painter and we are the canvas. We are where the beauty of God really lies. When the painter is done painting, he is all dirty but his work still stands him out. Is it because of the passion with which he does it? That i may never know. When next you want to complain and carry on about things not turning out the way you planned, remember that you are work in progress and it is how you end up that really matters. As one of Rihanna's tatoos say, never a failure, always a lesson. Its not as though i am a huge fan of her's but like the rest of us, she is a work in progress. When next you feel like an under acheiver, stop and think for.a second how far your painter (God) has brought you and the stage you are in. Remember, no matter how down you think you are, there is always someone worse than you. Think of it this way, some people's canvas has not even be touched yet, so be thankful and remind yourself that your beauty is all we see at last and not the mess you think you look like now. Happy new month!

Ps. I never intended writing this piece when i started but hey! It's here and you might as well just read it and get lifted. As for my wedding gist and man hunt, i have not forgotten ;-) keep a date with moi. Xoxox

SWEET NOVEMBER........

October was a good month for some. it was a bit uneventful for some but all in all, im thankful for the gift of life. Octotber meant different things to different people. For me, i played house painter, doctor and best of all, (in Katie Perry's voice) i kissed a boy and i liked it! Please do not ask me who because i won't tell *big grin** To be honest, i really am not bothered if he liked it too. I cried a few times too for the things i wanted but couldn't get.

November is finally here and looking good too. :-). To me, it holds alot of promises being fulfilled. A reunion with loved ones, for all the right reasons. I got to speak with an aunt i thought never knew i existed. It brought tears of joy to my eyes.

November is particularly nice because it will see love's battle fought and won. The union in marriage of two people who are special to me. For them, the journey to the land called happily ever after, will have had no meaning, if there were no battles fought and won. Testimonies that prove that love conquers all. I personally, am in love with love. I love the feeling of all that lovie-lovie. I like to watch attraction blossom into friendship, dating, courting and then marriage.

I read my friend's story of how she met her soulmate and the fairytale way he proposed to her. He planned it carefully and even prayed in his heart that she accepts. I thought it was only girls who had butterflies in their stomachs when it comes to matters of the heart. You could read their story here. w.w.w.emmanuelawedsobinna.com please read it and get inspired. Hmm me sef go love oh! I hope to give you all gist as the events unfold. I intend to sharpen my hunting tools and take them along with me as i intend to go man hunting too. Who says i can't eat in and take away? lol. Here is wishing my darling rabbit a happy married life. I'm wishing my brother and his lovely wife to be, a happy married life too. Aso-ebi things on point!!!

Aunty Lily, i want the whole world to know i am happy to have you in my life and i love you dearly and i can't wait to hug you in person. As per my man hunt, wish me luck! xoxo

ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD!

woke up with a lot on my mind this morning. You know that feeling of being abandoned by people you will naturally give your all for? today feels like world forsake friends day. smh* its so painful because it seems like i am entitled to their loyalty, its just so weird, unpleasant and so not right.
It can't be that bad na! there are still a few good people around but im so stuck up with this feeling that i can't even think straight. I miss my friends badly. The ones with whom i have done alot ☀̤̣̈̇f stupid things with. It's sad but hey! Like someone i know always says, "you cannot be friends with twenty people for twenty years" people grow, things change, deal with it!

Listening to certain songs sef doesn't help my already sad and pathetic situation. I hug snow flake tight, by the way, thats the name i gave to my new teddy bear. I am still in my nightie i am generally feeling sorry for myself. I imagine a million and one things i and my friends would have been doing now. A nostalgic jaunt down memory lane and i catch myself giggling. good days eh! smh*

I ask myself why i feel like this and the answer is not far fetched. A call or a ping from that person that rocks my boat, that isn't coming and even the fact that nobody gave me sallah meat :-( jeez!!! how cheezy.
I pull myself together and spoil myself and pamper myself a little(there is no use being sad for all the wrong reasons). Nobody hangs around a sad polzin abi? if i cant make me happy, who will? Sometimes i ask myself, if push comes to shove, will my darling rabbits be there for me? I guess i may never know until the time comes.
Shout out to all those we treat as top priority, who treat us like options and plan B! God is watching you on 3D HD. For now, im busy loving me please #DND#(do not disturb). See what not eating sallah meat has caused? Chai ayaf kolo finish(covering face).
Happy holiday people!

LOVE AND TRADITION.......

Beautiful people of God's green earth. Thanks to my winchie network, i couldnt gist with you last weekend and thanks to house maintenance job,i found a long forgotten treasure of mine (my poetry book). Its indeed funny, how much has changed about me. i decided to show you darlings, my first attempt at poetry and i hope you will like it*big grin#

Oh my dear child! oh mma mma,

You who mother has loved

You who papa has failed show love,

Is it you who has grown this much like ripe banana?

Is it sweet you who many suitors clamour for?

Papa rejoices because of your bride price

He drinks palmie like camels drink water

He does nothing in the name of tradition

What is it that you are worried about?

What is it that puts fear in your liver?

Do you fear what your parents are?

Could you be worried about the soothsayer?

What is it your heart tells you?

Why fear to love?

Its a choice you must make alone

Is it Udeme who gives you joy?

Is it who tradition forbids you to love?

You may love who your heart chooses.

Love him like mama loves you.

Think not of what papa has done to your pride

Make that choice only you can make

Let no one take your happiness from you

Not even Ekpe.

CLOSE SHAVE

As i sit down to blog, something tells me i ought to give my testimony in a church that is filled to  capacity. As e no come be sunday na, lemme just improvise na. Now, my dear readers become my church congregation *giggling*

Praiiiiiiiiiiiise the lord! hmm. my testimony goes thus. For sometime now, the weather has been blustery and rainy and so at the very moment it became sunny, i seized the opportunity to tend to some business i ought to have  handled earlier than now but for lagos rain. i set out quite early to the bank as i was determined to accomplish as much as i could. let me quickly chip in that i fly bikes more than the average secondary school rebel flies his shirt*clears throat but on this fateful day, i couldnt trust the weather and i wanted to avoid stories that touch, so i  did it the good old way.

I jumped in a bus as quickly as i could and within a short time, i was at the world famous Alaba international market. I carried out some transactions in the bank, made some withdrawals to take care of business. It wasn't long before i hit the road, waiting for a commuter bus. Trust lagos crowd na as soon as a danfo bus was in sight, we all made for the bus as fast as our legs could carry us. My fellow people! The rushing no be here! *smh. As i tried to get into the bus i felt somebody touch me and in a Split second, he stole my wallet. Oh my! The village girl in me came out without warning and i grabbed the guy and shouted ole! Ole! And he dropped my wallet on the floor like hot potatoe. onlookers quickly started slapping and punching the theif. I felt lucky that i was sharp enough to catch him. Truth be told, i was scared he might get killed (jungle justice and all). i silently prayed he would'nt get killed because of me. The guy must have been watching lots of foreign movies sha! He escaped and i thanked my stars. wheeew! close shave indeed! Who says God doesn't answer prayers?

I'm Big not sick!

The bus conductor was shouting at the top of his lungs for passengers "ketu ojota" thanks to fuel scarcity in lagos, stranded passengers had to rush into the bus in order to get good seats or any seat at all. There she was, trying to force her big frame into the already tight bus. She was sweating profusely, while others laughed at her "mission almost impossible" She had a pretty face though it was covered with badly done make up and sweat.

She must have been having a bad day. As she tried to get off the bus, she tore her skirt (ouch) as if that wasn't enough,Fatima fell (eyah). Onlookers laughed as she tried to help herself up. poor thing(smh). It got me thinking how unfair life could be sometimes. Our society which once embraced being big and called it beautiful now laughs at their own. What a shame. The plugs in my brain, begin to
 spark. Now i speak on behalf of my big sisters.

Just because i dont look good in skinny jeans doesnt make me less a woman. Im big not sick! Just because i cant run as fast as you to catch a bus or save my life doesnt make me lazy. Im big not sick! I agree that i eat a bit more than you do but i guess you are not blind to see that my size requires more food than yours. Im big not sick! The same way you have a crush on a good looking guy, works the same way for me. Remember our eyeballs are the same size from birth till death. Im big not sick! I might wear a size or two bigger than your's in that perfect dress, doesnt mean im a mumu. Im big not sick!

Im beautiful on the inside and if you just squint those stupid eyes of yours, you will also see im beautiful on the outside. Im big not sick! All you good looking guys out there, i could love you just as good as that thin anaemic girl, if not better . Remember i have a big heart. Im big not sick. You reading this, before you laugh and call me pap brain, remember your ancestors, where just the way i am now and if they weren't, their husbands were ashamed of them. Im big not sick!

When next u see me walking slowly down the road, just know im not tired, im learning to catwalk in time for the big miss world pageant. I'm big not sick!

Indian Romance

His eye caught mine, gosh i could feel my heart melt like burning candle wax. Oh no! This couldnt be happening! In my heart, indian music was playing in the background and me and the object of my heart's desire and my yori yori were dancing to romantic tunes in the Taj mahal. Life couldnt be more beautiful(oh my word). He came closer, put his hands on my
Waist and looked me straight in the eyes as if to reassure me that he will never leave me.

I hear someone call Karina though i could only hear it faintly and then she poked me mscheeeeeeeew my annoying boss just ended my picture perfect life in my mind ehn, i had bitch slapped her over a thousand times. I wish that i could make that dream become reality. Karina its time for your tea break she said I walked so fast into the staff room as though i had a pot of burning beans on the fire.

Oh my! Sanjay was in the staff room. My joy knew no bound. He stretched out his Amithab Baachan like hands and said "my name is Stephen, whats your's?" The first Indian man who didnt reek of curry and garlic.I grabbed his hand and shook his hands as though my very existence depended on that very moment. Ka ka Karina i stuttered. His smile  could melt a pot.

We became friends, exchanged contacts and the phone calls started. In all honesty, i wondered what a suave dude like him could possibly want from ordinary me. I was gonna find out. He said he loved me and i said i was Nigerian. I just couldnt imagine living in India, yet i was bent on pleasing my Romeo. I read about his culture and what made Indians tick. I started eating tandoori, tikka masala, pitta bread and every Indian food i could lay my fingers on. Little did i know i was in for a bumpy ride in a keKe in the suburbs of mumbai.


Sanjay wanted to finger my brain, can you beat that? He didnt do any reseach on Nigerians so he didnt know we are black not dumb. This guy was out to con a naija girl like me(smh). Please do not ask me how i out smarted him. Thats not to say i now hate Indians as i still watch bollywood movies.

 During my research, i discovered that cows are revered animals in India and i ask, do i in any way look like a cow? Let alone a cash cow for that matter. All over the streets of London, they flirt with me. abeg oh Indian women dey get dada? abi people with dreadlocks get any special money vomiting abilities? mscheeeeew oshisco.

The Good, the bad and the not so pretty

As i sit here to write this, i look back every now and then, just to reassure myself that i am safe. Im like a little fish swimming in the midst of hungry sharks, yet i dare to swim across. It has been on my mind for quite sometime to come and sit in the beach on a sunny day and behold nature in all her glory and beauty. Sadly, that isnt the case as it is raining crocodiles and hippos, alot of bad boys around and those merchants of familiar spirits conducting "deliverance".

Enough about my environment :) lemme go back what i am doing here. I seek that which i do not understand. Today, i am meant to be in front of an HR representative, telling them why i need their freight job so badly but it isnt so. What we want, isnt always what we get or is it? I try to force a laugh every now and then but the sound of  my heart's cry, brings me back to reality.

I ask! what did i even come to the world for? The thought of the ones i love , once again,gives me something to smile about. Jah be praised for that! Love, career and spirituality, happen to be the very issues that brings me T̶̲̥̅Ơ̴͡ my knees. Then i ask myself what if i had all my heart's desire, will it make me happier? For some reason, i cant answer the questions i ask.

My heart is racing and making waves with so much current just like lagos Bar beach. There is so much to write about but i dont seem to know where to start but never the less, i just have to say it "the way it is doing me"

My Confessions.....

I have been doing alot of soul searching this week. For the one millionth time in ma life, it has hit me again that sinners wont go to heaven and that Jesus is coming soon.

I take it seriously because so many things are happening in this world of our's that points to the fact that its not very far off. i have repented and i try by the grace of God to be in line with what i have learnt from the word of God. Just like any normal person, i have had ma own fair share of mischief and naughtyness.

I was going through my old pictures from school days, when i came across a picture of  an old class mate of mine. The memory of what i did to her, hit me afresh and in as much as im truely sorry for what i did to her, i couldnt stop laughing. This friends, is ma first confession.

Miss S.U wanna be, was a born again, no earing wearing, no trouser wearing and natural haired girl. We were in the same hall (hostel). She was indeed pretty.  Beauty with brains is how best to describe her. However there was a snag. Nobody is perfect i know please dont judge  me. She  was  one hell of a wanna be and an unrepentant longerthroat! Tufia!!!!

S.U loved food so much, she could take candy from a baby *rme and to crown it all, she so wanted to belong but didnt want to look bad in the eyes of her fellow churchillos. My birthday fell within our resumption period, so i took my cake to school. S.U practically ate all my cake and i decided to teach her a lesson but i had to wait for the right time.

Val's day came and what better tme to go for the kill(mischevious grin)? Our hostel was out of bounds to males and as such, whenever a guy needed to see anyone, he went straight to the potter's lodge, where the potter incharge,  used the PA system to call whoever.

It was a free day for most of us and the val gifts started pouring in early.  Whenever the potter made any announcement, we all rushed out cherring and stylishly checked who got what. Prior to this, i had  sent love notes to SU with the promise of revealing myself to her on val's day as i was a secret admirer. I patiently waited for the hostel to get quiet and then headed straight to the potter's lodge with the rotten fufu i had carefully packed in several cartons, making sure it was the biggest val's gift yet. it didnt take long before she was called and trust girls na, they were all shocked as per SU dey do val? I joined the crowd of cheering Moremites and trust me, girls tripped. some were even jealous.

SU open your gift na! for where? she must have read the  wordings of the val card over a thousand times. Evening came and she eventually opened her gift. i wont forget in a hurry, the look on her face. Girls laughed so hard, they had tears in their eyes. She started reigning curses i felt fulfiled inside and  even danced yahoozee in ma mind. little did i know that ma reward wasnt far away. A whole val's day, all ma gbo gbo bigs boys boyfriend gave me was a measly one carton of indomie noodles. Gosh!! the shame no be here walahi. who come like food pass? Me or SU?

Please if you are reading this my dear SU, please forgive me. please dont judge me.

twenty naira AIDS!

Hello fellas, trust your month is starting on a good note. The recent happenings in town, kinda threw me down memory lane. Of a fact, both male and female likewise,have experienced some form of sexual harrassment or abuse. some are lucky and some are not that fortunate eg facebook Cynthia.

I dont mean any disrespect but what kinda chic embarks on such an adventure to wonderland without as much as telling a close friend or sibling where she is going and to do what?

Our society isnt as holy or as safe as we think sometimes.In the end, its only God, who keeps us safe.

Back to what i really wanna share. (Lemme not deviate) I was fortunate enough, to get into uni early. i had barely turned 16 and life for me, couldnt get any sweeter so i thought.(Lol) how childish of me.

I was a tomboy, and expected every other dude to treat me just the way  my brothers would. Innocence or naivety, call it what you will.

I was kinda ignorant of the fact that boys wont always reason like brothers

I learnt that in the most unpleasant way.(Smh!)

I had  a group of male friends in uni and our friendship never went beyond the school premises, until that fateful day.  

We were done with classes and were heading home when one of hello hi buddies in school offered me a ride home. in ma mind, i was happy  i had saved  20bucks tfare, so i hopped in(awoof). By the time Dracula approached the estate gate, he suggested i came to know where he lives. I obliged and shortly after,we were at his place.

He didnt live alone but he had a room to himself in the flat he shared with fellow vampires, Blade and the twilight crew. Before i could say Jack, Dracular locked the door with key(shu!) levels. He slotted in a movie (how Stella got her groove back i think). Then came the kissing scene. Bobo started bringing out his winch teeth to suck virgin blood. chai! ayaf suffer.

I resisted his shaggy touch on ma skin. He kept trying and my strenght was no match for his conji strenght. dear God, this wasnt how i planned ma first "S". I had to put ma brains on over drive ( thank God for oyinbo film) 

I told the ojuju to relax. I mustered courage and asked him what he wanted.    You wanna shag me? The idiot said yes. I said you for talk since na.

Quick thinking moi, told him to get naked and in a split second, he was naked and ready to giddy up like say i be horse(mstceeew). I said "not so fast baby" I convinced the nama to go and take a shower while i undressed. He rushed straight to the bathroom.

The golden opportunity for prison break! I rushed out as fast as my legs could carry me. I didnt look back self. wheeeew! pheeew! that was indeed close. i have since borrowed myself brain. The guy for just gimme 20 naira AIDS! Thank God oh!

A Girl's guide to a painless relatIonship

1. Never throw yourself at a man( they might have you but, they will never keep you)
2. If he wants to be with you, he will go out of his way to be there.
3. He doesnt deserve you if he makes passes at your friendss and flirts with them at the sLightest opportunity.
4. If you feel more pain than pleasure,then it isnt worth the *ish
5. You could be rude sometimes(tongue out) but never proud.
6. Never date guy out of pity.
7. If you are not feeling the relationship,phuleeeeeze! feel free to break up*RME. better a broken relationship than an unhappy marriage.
8. There is nothing that trips a man like a born again sister, because you like her but you cant touch her (you know what i mean)
9. If he cheats on his gf with you,chances are, he will cheat on you too.
10. When you feel love lorn,its best to fill yourself with the holy spirit. He will comfort you.
11. Never! As in never use prayers to replace obedience. It never solves any spiritual need.ie obedience to God's word.
12. Never double date. It adds no extra value to you! prophet B says so!

one of man's personal battles( spiritual you versus physical you)

Why? Why? Why? Its probably the biggest question ever asked. It even sounds bigger than the three letter word it actually is.(Smh!) God almighty said to us "pay your tithe, vows and pledges and see if i wont rebuke the devourer for your sake". Then, why is this simple task so difficult to obey? "Abegi! E no make sense jor" some of you might say. Ehn " God will not come down from heaven to collect small money from us na", "he knows i dont have enough, he gats understand na" Wait a minute! Stop for a second and think! How well have you been faring financially since you stopped paying your tithes? Please let me guess (big grin) bills, bills, and more bills(eyes rolling) and you say to yourself "i cant give accountof how i spent this month" (in Helen Paul voice). Hmmm, i smell a devourer somewhere see! Look ehn, let me tell you, you still pay your tithes, the only difference is, its paid into the wrong account and you know what that means? (In heavy jamaican accent) No blessings! Imagine a life without blessings from God.It can almost be likened to suffering in the midst of plenty. You dont wanna go there do you? Do the right thing then!goodluck! Toodles... Mr B.

finally, Mr Book Ȋ̝̊̅ڪ out ☀̤̣̈̇f the closet.

Hello friends, ℓ̊†̥ Ȋ̝̊̅ڪ with §Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ much delight that i introduce my dear friend Mr Book to you all. Mr B as i will refere to him from here on, is an old friend of mine. He was my only means of escape from the brutal walls of boarding school. I told him everything. We. Shared laughs, fears, secrets, dreams and aspirations. In him ,many images in my head came to life eg my goofy fashion drawings that has overtime improved. Thanks to technology, i can finally share my thoughts on just about anything with you my friends. Please feel free to leave comments and tell me what you think eh! Please note that Mr B aint no proffessor, he is just a regular dude who sees and sighs or sometimes has something to say about all that happens around us. Happy reading. Mr B

finally, Mr Book Ȋ̝̊̅ڪ out ☀̤̣̈̇f the closet.

Hello friends, ℓ̊†̥ Ȋ̝̊̅ڪ with §Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ much delight that i introduce my dear friend Mr Book to you all. Mr B as i will refere to him from here on, is an old friend of mine. He was my only means of escape from the brutal walls of boarding school. I told him everything. We. Shared laughs, fears, secrets, dreams and aspirations. In him many images in my head came to life eg my goofy fashion drawings that has overtime improved. Thanks to technology, i can finally share my thoughts on just about anything with you my friends. Please feel free to leave comments and tell me what you think eh! Please note that Mr B aint no prefessor, he is just a regular dude who sees and sighs or sometimes has something to say about all that happens around us. Happy reading. Mr B